In my years of coaching and mentoring, so many of my clients still struggle when it comes to speaking, as part of their business. I have watched people literally freeze and cringe in front of a camera. I have witnessed many avoiding video talk due to feeling intimidated by technology. The most common feedback I receive is that many are concerned about how they are being perceived by their audience.

This is a real shame since many of those I speak with have an important message to share in line with their vision, yet feel relatively crippled when it comes to using their voice to spread their message. It is ultimately a form of self-sabotage.

When I did my TV Presenter’s course last year, I continued to experience something I commonly share in my coaching of others, and that is the importance of being yourself, rather than trying to perform. So let’s continue with a question.

What would happen if you could be yourself and communicate your message in such a way that combines authenticity with deep impact on your audience, that makes for an unforgettable experience?

I caught up with Davide Di Giorgio, TED talks trainer,  who helps people shift their perspective and their results. Listen in to our conversation and what he shared if you want to transform your speaking.

  • The importance of shifting your perspective with regards speaking
  • What it means to move past being a technician of speaking
  • What it means to be authentic
  • Deconstructing a powerful talk
  • Aligning purpose, authenticity, impact and an unforgettable talk
  • How to build a speaking business that is viable
  • How Davide helps people through unique experiences he creates in his events
  • Why you are ready now
  • The first step to changing your current experience

Make today the day you change the way you speak and deliver your message forever. You can access Davide’s Community of support by clicking here

One of the things I have been quoted on in mainstream media was my take on success. I shared that success is like a coin – the being and doing aspects are directly linked. If you want lasting success and fufillment it is important to work both sides of the coin.

We live in a society that predominantly measures success by the grades you get in your exams, the money you earn and the lifestyle possessions you acquire. Whilst that is one measure of success, it has unfortunately led to an imbalance in the way success is defined and experienced.
For example so many people operate a definition of success that only allows them to feel good about themselves when they are achieving something.

There are 3 challenges with this:-

• That perspective of success defers the feel good factor and can rob a person of joy in the journey.
• It also emphasizes the ‘doing’ side of the coin in order to feel good.
• A person can end up reducing themselves to a set of executable tasks which when completed successfully, lead to the achievement in question.

If a person is to experience lasting success and fulfilment, it is important to reconsider and move toward a new definition of success that embraces other important factors. Since life is happening now, and the place we spend the most time is in our skin, success needs to embrace happiness and well-being in the present and not just the future.

The irony is that if a person can learn to access joy and happiness in the present without it being attached to an achievement, the vibrancy that results will act as fuel that aids momentum towards the achievement of a dream.

In fact the capacity to experience joy in the present moment from a place of unconditional love toward self are strong foundation principles for building and enhancing success.

The first steps to realigning to a more holistic definition of success is to pause and acknowledge that the definition you may have bought into has been influenced by society’s emphasis yet has led to an imbalance in experience.

Secondly, decide to redefine success on your terms. Consider the values you wish to build on, and the relationship with yourself you wish to enjoy, and reinstate those values, and tend to your well-being on a regular basis. Learn that the place from which you take action is as important as the action itself – there is a difference between acting from joy as opposed to obligation for example.

When you address these being aspects, over time you will start to feel a more complete feeling of success and a greater joy and appreciation for life each day.

My favorite sport is football, but it is International Rugby that provides the backdrop of today’s reflection on becoming unstoppable. When I recall the rugby days of David Duckham, Andy Ripley, Roger Uttley and Bill Beaumont, followed by a new generation of stars in the 90s such as Will Carling and Johnnie Wilkinson, one man rises above all others as a global star and rugby legend.

In recent months, rugby and indeed the sporting world paid tribute to the great Jonah Lomu, whose life sadly came to an end at the young age of 40 years in November 2015

He has been heralded globally as someone who changed rugby, combining strength, speed, agility and intelligence on the wing, like none before him, to outrun, outwit and seemingly swat his opponents out of the way, en route to scoring multiple tries. He graced the world of rugby and crowd attendances rose, as many watched a man in action described as ‘unstoppable’

The tendency among so many people watching such success is to observe with a mild or greater degree of envy that they may have been bestowed with luck or special qualities. What many fail to appreciate about Jonah Lomu was the huge obstacles he had to get by to obtain such success.

I am not so much referring to his childhood and exposure to domestic violence at the hands of his father, or the gang culture that exposed his troublesome youth. It is the critical illness he overcame on a day by day basis to grace the rugby field and the world with a display of skill, speed and power that had not been seen to this degree

Jonah Lomu was diagnosed with a critical illness only 2 years after breaking onto the international scene at 19years old in 1994. Many will remember his world cup performance in 1995 against England where he scored 4 tries. His diagnosis came in 1996 requiring him to take time out for treatment. Yet this man refused to lie down and bow to the medical implications of his condition, choosing to live his rugby dream.

The illness would rob him of muscle strength particularly in his legs. Yet strength is what he worked on both inwardly and outwardly, and belief is what he cultivated. He made a comeback in 1997, and won an Olympic Gold in 1998. His last international appearance was in 2002 before his illness worsened, requiring him to have a kidney transplant in 2004. He made it his goal and dream to play in the world cup of 2007

An Insight into Jonah Lomu

 

I do not know many people who could go overnight from prolific rugby star to struggling to walk to the fridge due to the loss of muscle and nerve conduction in the legs, and then defy medical expectations of becoming wheelchair bound to make it back to the rugby field. Jonah made a comeback in 2005 but unfortunately did not manage to secure a super rugby contract, which denied him his dream of a World Cup place in 2007. He retired from the international scene and was later desrevedly inducted into the Rugby Hall of Fame

He was not supposed to be able to have children, yet the impossible happened when his wife gave birth to two children in 2009 and 2010, and he devoted himself to becoming the best possible dad, whilst contributing to world peace through sport via the Champions for Peace Club, What does this man teach us about unstoppability?

When you are unstoppable, you are not void of challenges in life, neither are you immune to doubts and fears. Challenges can come in many forms on many levels, physically, mentally and otherwise. What separates those who are unstoppable from those who are not is the capacity to get back up when life knocks them down, to navigate challenges with a perspective that allows them to keep moving forward to achieve their goals, dreams and lifestyle aspirations .

Such people are characterised by a ‘never say die’ attitude. Rather than ignoring the obstacles they look at what lies beyond and adjust their focus accordingly until they reach thir desired destination. Their resilience and resolve do not decrease in the face of challenge, rather they increase.

Somewhat ironically his body could not hold his undying spirit, and yet his life continues to breathe life into those who wish to become and remain unstoppable, myself included. When people who read my book Breaking Free remark about my irrepressibility, I can only humbly testify to the undying influence on my life of such icons as Jonah Lomu from whom I continue to learn how to be unstoppable. You can get his Jonah Lomu’s Autobiography from Amazon too.

 

 

 

In a recent CNN report professional golfer Tiger Woods inferred that self-esteem is directly tied to career when he stated that he had nothing to look forward to. The context for this remark was the news that he required further back surgery, which would put him out of action indefinitely.

Whilst a comment like this could be a knee jerk reaction to the disappointing news, Tiger Wood’s comment seemed to be more enduring in nature as this is not the first time he has voiced such despondency in the wake of required treatment for injury.

These are not the words of a man who has been denied success on the golf course. In fact at 40years of age he already has 14 major championship titles to his name and is considered one of the all-time golfing greats. So what was he communicating through his remark?

Woods was very candid in saying that due to the lack of timescale and lack of certainty about his recovery he was finding it very hard to adjust to on a mental level. How do you navigate such disappointments without compromising self-esteem?

From my observations in life, football and coaching, his comment seems to voice what so many people think and believe; namely that self-esteem is directly connected to career success. The challenge with this perception is that you set yourself up for an unstable experience when it comes to feeling good about yourself. Self-esteem becomes something of a roller coaster experience.

And this is one of many ways you can identify whether you have an issue with self-esteem – simply by how you feel about yourself when you are not achieving something. The idea that self-esteem can only be truly experienced when you are achieving something needs to be challenged.

So many people operate a definition of self-esteem that is heavily toward external factors such as circumstance and achievements. It is easy to understand why when you look at the education system and a society that primarily judges success by external factors such as money, status and possessions.

Before adversity struck, I operated from a very similar association with self-esteem. My identity was solely in my career, and I could not feel good about myself unless I was achieving things. I achieved many amazing things too.

You may think there is nothing wrong with that. However the issue is not a moral one. It is more about what makes for joy and happiness on a consistent basis. So many people who have been successful like Tiger Woods are finding out from experience that career is not enough to sustain happiness.

I was one of them, and fortunately I discovered the hard way, that three things needed to change in order to redress the empty gap. Use these as tips to help you too.

1. I needed to be honest about the poor quality of the relationship with myself
2. I needed to make a decision to change that
3. I needed a process that would bridge the gap and change my perception and self-definition

You see circumstances can come and go, but there is a difference between enhancing your happiness through circumstances and achievements versus creating happiness from those things. This is something I expand on from my own life experience including sports, in my book Breaking Free.

I applied a series of tweaks that set me free from low self-esteem. The difference at source was like that 1mm tweak of a golf club which impacted destination over distance and time. I think Tiger Woods would relate to that analogy.

Ultimately I discovered that self-esteem is not about denying your humanity in the face of disappointment and adversity. It is about a bond you have with yourself that is based on unconditional love. It is about a self-definition that can extract life from life with gratitude, authenticity and joy.

It is that relationship which allows you to feel disappointment without negatively absorbing it into the relationship you have with yourself. That same loving relationship helps you keep perspective and navigate disappointments with greater ease to support healing and recovery.

My greatest joy has been to share and facilitate this process of growth within others, and watch as they embrace life with a new found enthusiasm and joy, as well as become more productive and accomplished.

If you need and love inspiration then by all means discover what I learnt and applied from my powerful journey in my book and song Breaking Free. You can listen to the song for free – my gift to you

A key observation about the many clients I have trained in accelerated learning is how it impacts their self-esteem and confidence, and not for the reasons that might appear obvious at first.

It is true that when accelerated learning is applied effectively to any topic or subject, the quality of learning and performance increases, study time decreases, and the process is so much easier and enjoyable.

Accelerated learning is a brain optimized and systematic way of learning how to learn, such that it increases learning performance and reduces study time. It restores the joy of learning too.

The results have been well and consistently documented in The Learning Revolution by Vos and Dryden which sold over 10million copies worldwide. In that book the research indicates that accelerated learning outperforms traditional learning by a factor of 2:1. You do the math on time saved alone with this skill.

Yet for so many people learning remains a struggle and a stressful labour, born out of necessity. Many tell me that they continue to adopt a repetitive, rote, mechanical approach to learning on a topic by topic basis. Unfortunately this aligns with traditional taught methods of learning.

The knock on effect is that confidence and competence decrease where knowledge is concerned, and it becomes harder to navigate life and achieve career aspirations in a timely way.

So many people are still unaware of accelerated learning, and are therefore ill-equipped when it comes to learning.    I didn’t hear about accelerated learning until I was 30years old, and my experience at that point was similar to others, even though I would get sufficient grades in the subjects I was studying.

When I was taught this skill, it had a major impact on my learning. The results it brought added to the feel good factor that any such achievement would bring, yet there was something of more fundamental value that I discovered. I alluded to this in my contributory chapter to the book ‘Wake up Live the Life You Love.’

It started to wake me up to the power of my inner resources when they are worked in proper alignment. It made me ask what else I was capable of to. It underlined for me that we are powerfully equipped to learn, grow, create and overcome in amazing ways.  There is so much available to us if we can learn to harness our inner resources in a harmonious way.

This self-discovery was even more fascinating than the outcome. It set me off on an amazing journey where my life aspirations were concerned. Accelerated learning had provided a window through which I could view my inner resources differently and get to know myself with greater accuracy.

Many clients I have taught this to have experienced profound shifts in similar manner. They have discovered that it was the incorrect use of inner resources rather than the lack of ability that had been the issue.

Our Breaking Free Academy will be launched shortly and this will be the first course released as a foundation course for other courses to come, so that many more can be reached and equipped with this valuable skill.

Imagine having the inner resources to change your learning experience and results. Imagine that there is a systematic way to rearrange those resources and utilize them harmoniously. This is what accelerated learning does. It is to learning what a sharp axe is to wood cutting. You get through more learning in less time with greater precision.

So if you have not heard of accelerated learning, you have now been made aware. More importantly you have an opportunity to change your learning experience from today.  I leave you with some simple tips:-

TIPS:

  1. Make a decision to change your learning experience if you are struggling
  2. Google ‘accelerated learning’ and learn more about its benefits
  3. Enrol in a course online or offline to change the way you learn forever, and increase your self-esteem and confidence en route